If nothing else, then today was one giant ball off emotional stress. Actually it was so much more than that, it was to the point that once I finally got home, I just wanted to crawl into my bed and pretend that the entire day had never even happened.
A smarter person would have actively sought out the teaching the night before and if I had, chances are, I wouldn’t have gone into uni at all because each of the topics that we were being ‘taught’ (and I use that term loosely because it was clearly not thought out at all) were far too close to the bone for me and definitely far too much to cope with all in one day.
Depression / Mental Illness
Yes we get trigger warnings that sometimes some of the topics can be hard hitting, but no amount of advising and making light of the situation could have prepared me for having all of that hit me straight in the face. It is bad enough learning about just one topic that is close to home, but I can honestly say, if I had another day like today, it could in fact be that push that could make me walk out and never come back. There was no way that it was thought out and it just shows you the severe lack of communication between the teaching staff.
Mentally drained and hoping for a better day tomorrow. I’d say that it couldn’t get worse, but chances are, they’d find a way. All I can say is that with just two days in, this is definitely not my week.
First day back after the reading week and it is safe to say that it was a massively unpleasant experience.
First of all, it was a Monday. And as far as Mondays go, this one sucked big time. I am literally no use having to go back into doing things after doing absolutely nothing for an entire week. With no uni or no work plus not being at home for my mother to piss me off, it meant that I was able to potter about at my own pace and just relax. Well, my alarm going off at 4 in the morning might as well have been a kick in the teeth.
So to top it all off, as if I wasn’t already in a gross mood, I had to give a presentation about something that not only made no sense, but was also going to be ungraded. Like the level of pointlessness was gigantic and the stress was equally as bad. I did however manage to get through it, just, and well it is not graded so, it’s not like I will ever have to think about it again. Well except the financial sheet, but to be honest, if I even dared to look at that right now, I think I probably would cry.
There has been a plus side to today however, boring and stressful classes aside, I passed my placement essay and with a good enough grade considering how little effort I put into writing it. So that’s another one I can just chuck in the pile and forget about until something related comes up and it might be useful.
((I really need to stop putting these things in my drafts and forgetting they are there, it’s not even close to Monday anymore…..))
1. to put the hand, finger, etc., on or into contact with something to feel it
I wanna be cuddled right now and have my back rubbed until I fall asleep.